China Adventure Day 12

I didn’t write a post for yesterday yet. I know people were looking for it, but honestly, I was out of energy and feeling pretty discouraged. Now, Dan and I are both feeling pretty sick. Selah is still having a hard time at night, and one of us has to walk her for hours to get her into a deep enough sleep to lay her down. So, this post is not going to sugarcoat anything, and I’m going to be honest.
 
We started out the morning with Dan still pretty sick. We ate breakfast and Dan slept most of the morning. Selah and I played and took a walk downstairs in the hotel to the Starbucks. The crazy lady who keeps following us was there and started to try to talk to Selah and follow us. It was more than I could handle. So, I let her have it. Let’s just say she stopped following us and is now scared of me.  Sometimes my temper gets the best of me.
 
I started feeling a little sick in the afternoon, but we decided to go on the group outing to the wholesale market and Shamian Island anyway. It was good to get out. The wholesale market was huge! There were so many jewelry vendors. We got Selah a little jade necklace to give her when she is older.
 
We walked around Shamian Island, which is beautiful, but it was incredibly humid. We picked up a few souvenirs and took some pictures and came back to the hotel. Our group ordered pizza and ate it on the little playground area at the hotel. It is so good to all be together and support each other.  God provided such a great group for us to travel with, and they all have amazing kids. Selah started getting upset after a little while (evenings are very hard for her), so we left and went back to the room and started the hours-long process of calming her down enough to sleep. We think that she is desperately afraid that we won’t be here when she wakes up. If she wakes up during the night, she frantically searches for me and grabs my arm. This little girl has experienced a lot of loss in her little life, and we can never completely understand the extent of the fear she must have. There were a lot of tears from all three of us last night, to be honest. It’s so, so hard here. I went through 39 hours of labor with Levi, and this is by far much harder. We love Selah so much (she is so special, smart, sweet, and brave), but we want to be home so badly. We miss Levi and Ezra, our families, Chick fil a, and drinking out of the faucet (among other things). Please pray that we have the strength to make it through the next few days, that our health improves, and that Selah continues to learn to trust that we will always be here for her.