Almost a year home

It's hard to believe it's been a year since we were anxiously awaiting our trip to China to pick up Selah. She is SUCH a Lunde, and I can't imagine our family without her. It's been a hard year, to be honest. Our whole worldview has been turned completely upside down, and we are not the same people we used to be. Our eyes were opened in China to the brokenness of this world. We were so safe in our little American bubble, and then we see travel halfway across the world and see so much suffering. It's like we were blindly skipping through life like little children, and our China trip opened our eyes to the brokenness and wreckage of the world. The things we were pursuing in life were hollow.  These were not faceless children that we heard about or saw pictures of on a charity's website, but faces of real people, including the face of our daughter. The trauma and pain that she has been through in her short little life causes nightmares and difficulty trusting. It's heartbreaking. This has made my shortcomings as a mother become so evident, and it has become so clear that I cannot possibly do this on my own. The good news is, however, that I am NOT the head of my family and neither is Dan. Jesus is NOT crazy and He IS perfect (so unlike me). He loves us and ALL of these suffering children so intimately. His love is not controlling, or impatient, and without Him, I am useless.

This year our family has experienced job loss, anxiety, and trauma. The one thing we have learned is that God has a plan that is better than ours. In 1 Peter 5:7, it says to "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you." Our God is a loving God, and He cares for us so much that He will take on our anxiety and fear. So, that's what we're doing. We're trusting God to lead us and to make us the best parents we can be to our sweet kiddos to help us teach them not to pursue a hollow "American" dream, but to love like Jesus.

Even with our difficulties and struggles, our kids bring us so much joy, and we thank God for the blessings they are every single day. In the past few weeks we celebrated Easter, went on our first road trip as a family of five to visit friends in Virginia and family in North Carolina, and we celebrated Selah's first birthday home with us. To make up for the first two birthdays we missed, we had a "1, 2, 3" birthday party to celebrate all three of her birthdays. She had a great time and was inviting people to her party personally for weeks, saying, "will you come to my party?" She loved blowing out the candles and of course, opening presents. And, the sun is finally shining after the winter, and we are excited about what God has in store for our family.